A Life of No Regrets
Well, sho nuff. Give a blog a title like "Overcoming Adversity" and what happens? The Universe throws me a bunch of adversity to rant about!
My ex-husband died recently. He was the father of two of my children and I never stopped loving him or him me for that matter. Love was not the problem. Violence was the problem, uncontrollable anger. We talked a lot the last few months of his all too short life, more so than in the last 10 years. It's too bad, too. He had had a heart attack about the same time I had begun to get sick. When I was probably at my sickest and my doctors had still not been able to come up with a diagnosis, he had bypass surgery. The kids each called me and told me that they couldn't deal with us both being sick at the same time; we had to coordinate better. Perhaps that's why I got sick. So, we could touch base one last time.
The one thing about knocking on Heaven's door is, it makes you reach out to people you wouldn't otherwise reach out to. There is a tendency to want to finish unfinished business. We all have our unfinished business with others. Be honest. My ex told me that his Grandfather had said to live a life of no regrets. I wonder if he honestly thought about that. I believe that to live a life of no regrets, in order to do that, one would have to live as a conscientious person, take responsibility for everything one does. It would mean that you thought about everything you said and did and how everything you do effects someone somewhere; the "Butterfly Effect". You've all heard of the 'butterfly effect', ‘a butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect the weather in
How does one live a life of no regrets daily? Here’s how I plan to do it. First, I will be grateful. To be grateful for all that you have and how you express it effects things. It effects, first how you see yourself which also gives you pause to be grateful, which makes it east to just not worry. To know that life will unfold as it's meant to unfold. There in lies one of the secrets, to know that life will present all that we need and there needn’t be any worry. As long as we have given more than we have taken, more will provide itself. All we need to do is be grateful for what we have. I think we, as a society, have forgotten to be grateful. We just want more, more video games, more food, more bells and whistles on our cars, more, more, more. It reminds me of a story I read to my kids about the tawny, scrawny lion. No matter what he ate, he could never get enough. So, today I will be grateful.
To have a day with no anger. What would it take for you to have a day of no anger? Things cause us to become angry, we can’t avoid feeling angry. It’s how that anger is expressed that matters. Is it stuffed inside a box deep within our souls only to eat away at our very sense of self worth and rear its ugly head in a fury? Or is it analyzed, dealt with and allowed to fizzle out? Do we ask whether or not it’s worth getting angry over? We can’t avoid feeling angry at times, but it’s how we express it that matters. Do you drive down the highway in a fury zigzagging in and out of traffic because some asshole cut you off on the on ramp? How many other people are you affecting in your erratic, angered state and how many people will they affect due to the anger that they feel because of your erratic driving? There’s that butterfly effect. Do you blame those around you for your problems or your bad feelings? It’s a little like paranoia. When you allow others to have that much control and power over your life, it’s hard to relax and enjoy it. Always looking over your shoulder to see who’s going to come along and mess up your world. So, today I’ll think about my angry feelings and decide whether or not they are worth expressing.
Today, I will tell my loved ones how special they are and why. I will tell my friends how much I appreciate the richness and diversity they have brought to my life. I will hold out my hand to someone in need and offer them a little comfort and solace if just for a few moments. Today I will see my self as a water drop that has fallen into a pond and made ripples on the quiet, tranquil water and I will do my best to have a positive effect on those around me. Today I will live a day of no regrets and in so doing I will add up these days until they become a life. I will strive to live a life of no regrets.
I think Grandpa Guild knew what he was talking about.
